I'm probably going to spare you the long drawn out repetitive story of my love story. Prior to meeting Trevor, let's just say I got kicked around once or twice, and really lost my self esteem. I will always remember, as a child, a teenager, and even young adult, writing a list of what my perfect man would be. The lists always consisted of something like: tall, dark, handsome, great testimony, great with kids, sense of humor, loves God more than me, yada yada yada.
Firstly, I'd love to stress how important it is to have a list. It's a bit crucial to know what kind of person will stand as your missing puzzle piece. On the other hand, I can't help but push how important it is to take a step back. Every single day, when I log onto social media (everybody logs on every day, right?), I see something like...."Guys need to learn to be more romantic!" or... "Guys should really stop looking at their phones on dates and paying more attention to me." Both single and married women are constantly posting about romantic love novels, cute stories, and what their man should be doing for them. Has society really become this selfish?
Shortly after breaking up with my high school and college boyfriend, I quickly realized that I didn't want to date until I figured myself out. I wanted to work on me. (Clearly, God had other plans, because Mr. Schroeder married a pretty selfish woman!) Instead of focusing on what qualities men should possess, perhaps we could turn the camera around and focus it in on ourselves. Are we as close to God as we'd like our husband to be? Are we selfless, caring, and loving? I've had this experience multiple times in my life. I find myself becoming selfish and wishing something was one way, when it just wasn't. We can blame 50 shades of grey or all of the Nicholas Sparks books we want. But the fact of the matter is...it all comes from YOU. If you're posting an article about how your man (or future man) needs to become more selfless, perhaps you do too.
I'm all about serving others and becoming a better person. But I sort of think it's deeper than that. I think we all need to constantly work on bettering ourselves, rather than waiting for that perfect person to come around, or for that person to become perfect. Life is way too short to have impossible expectations for somebody. Especially when that somebody is not ourselves.