I'm not entirely sure if an engaged or almost engaged individual will read this blog post and benefit from it. I'd love to share my thoughts and see if anybody would agree with me. I feel as if there's a problem with dating/engagements/marriages nowadays. ESPECIALLY in the state of Utah. Many girls will graduate high school and constantly think about that young man that they are going to marry within a few years. Me, on the other hand, didn't want to get married until after college. God had other plans for me (and boy oh boy, am I so happy for that). I feel as if there were some things that I was completely incorrect about when I was engaged. Today, I'm seeing like 90% of my friends & loved ones are finding out that they are also incorrect in the same concepts and becoming a little disappointed. Well, peeps! I'm here to tell you these things so that you have no surprises!
- Your wedding day is just one day.
I remember when I was engaged, all I could ever talk about was the wedding. Granted, your wedding day is going to be one of the best days of your life. I remember my dad always saying, "Amanda. Your wedding is going to come, and it will be a very happy day, but then it will end, and your life is going to drastically change." I would always say, "Dad. I know that. But a girl can be excited about her wedding." People. Your wedding is very important and amazing plans must be met. But your wedding day is just one day, which brings me to my next point.
-There is life after your wedding.
Recently, one of my friends said, "My whole life, my dream was to get married. I wanted to have this big wedding with everybody I knew and have it be absolutely beautiful. So I got my wedding. And now that I've said 'I do,' I'm not quite sure what to do with my life. I guess I never really thought about it." I think it's so sad that so many girls are only caught up in their wedding that they don't spend time bettering themselves or serving their spouse to make their marriage happier after the vows or covenants have been made. Am I right?
-It's not always going to be unicorns and rainbows.
This one was a hard one for me. I believe that 90% of people put on a facade of how their marriage is. They only post the good stuff; how their husband brought them home flowers for no apparent reason, or how marriage has been better than anyone else's and nothing could compare. Individuals SEE that facade and automatically think that marriage will be unicorns and rainbows. Wellp! Reality Check here: Life will not be unicorns and rainbows.
-You will fight.
Though Trevor and I don't fight a ton, there are fights. WE had one the other day about where our future is going. Luckily, they've never been ginormous, but fights will happen. And most of the time, fights are actually healthy.
-You will figure out your differences.
I always thought that Trevor and I were the same person. We liked the same things and we believed in the same things. Nope. What I should have realized is that no two individuals are the same. There will be differences. And the best way that we have figured most of them out is to compromise. I don't think persuading is the healthiest thing ever.
-You will become aware of your husbands flaws.
This one may have been the hardest one for me. I remember texting Mr. Schroeder's sister and saying, "Trevor is too perfect. Could you tell me something that he might struggle with? Because I really don't think there is anything." We would tease. In reality, I really didn't think there was any flaws that he possessed. But, everyone has them. It only took me a good month to realize that I needed to focus on the strengths rather than the flaws. After all, that's why you're so happy when you're engaged. Because you're only focusing on the good things. I often wonder why that has to change after marriage.
-Satan is still working.
I thought temptation would decrease drastically when I got married. Though it is very wonderful to have my husband as my side-kick, helping me along the way, the adversary is still working on me. Sometimes, when I'm doing really well and leaning on my Heavenly Father, I can feel the tension or shift that Satan is trying to make. It can get scary. Be sure to pray with your spouse and continue to love and serve them!
-You will struggle.
I never would have guessed Mr. Schroeder and I would have had some of the struggles we have already faced. From financial struggles to health struggles, we have had some roller coaster moments. However, I wouldn't have taken any of them back. We have learned so much and gotten through mountains full. Like the whole "rainbows and unicorns" above, things aren't going to be perfect. Though things might be pretty great when you're engaged, hardcore struggles will happen when you're married.
Were there any key points I missed that you were mistaken about when you were engaged?
I remember when I was engaged, all I could ever talk about was the wedding. Granted, your wedding day is going to be one of the best days of your life. I remember my dad always saying, "Amanda. Your wedding is going to come, and it will be a very happy day, but then it will end, and your life is going to drastically change." I would always say, "Dad. I know that. But a girl can be excited about her wedding." People. Your wedding is very important and amazing plans must be met. But your wedding day is just one day, which brings me to my next point.
-There is life after your wedding.
Recently, one of my friends said, "My whole life, my dream was to get married. I wanted to have this big wedding with everybody I knew and have it be absolutely beautiful. So I got my wedding. And now that I've said 'I do,' I'm not quite sure what to do with my life. I guess I never really thought about it." I think it's so sad that so many girls are only caught up in their wedding that they don't spend time bettering themselves or serving their spouse to make their marriage happier after the vows or covenants have been made. Am I right?
-It's not always going to be unicorns and rainbows.
This one was a hard one for me. I believe that 90% of people put on a facade of how their marriage is. They only post the good stuff; how their husband brought them home flowers for no apparent reason, or how marriage has been better than anyone else's and nothing could compare. Individuals SEE that facade and automatically think that marriage will be unicorns and rainbows. Wellp! Reality Check here: Life will not be unicorns and rainbows.
-You will fight.
Though Trevor and I don't fight a ton, there are fights. WE had one the other day about where our future is going. Luckily, they've never been ginormous, but fights will happen. And most of the time, fights are actually healthy.
-You will figure out your differences.
I always thought that Trevor and I were the same person. We liked the same things and we believed in the same things. Nope. What I should have realized is that no two individuals are the same. There will be differences. And the best way that we have figured most of them out is to compromise. I don't think persuading is the healthiest thing ever.
-You will become aware of your husbands flaws.
This one may have been the hardest one for me. I remember texting Mr. Schroeder's sister and saying, "Trevor is too perfect. Could you tell me something that he might struggle with? Because I really don't think there is anything." We would tease. In reality, I really didn't think there was any flaws that he possessed. But, everyone has them. It only took me a good month to realize that I needed to focus on the strengths rather than the flaws. After all, that's why you're so happy when you're engaged. Because you're only focusing on the good things. I often wonder why that has to change after marriage.
-Satan is still working.
I thought temptation would decrease drastically when I got married. Though it is very wonderful to have my husband as my side-kick, helping me along the way, the adversary is still working on me. Sometimes, when I'm doing really well and leaning on my Heavenly Father, I can feel the tension or shift that Satan is trying to make. It can get scary. Be sure to pray with your spouse and continue to love and serve them!
-You will struggle.
I never would have guessed Mr. Schroeder and I would have had some of the struggles we have already faced. From financial struggles to health struggles, we have had some roller coaster moments. However, I wouldn't have taken any of them back. We have learned so much and gotten through mountains full. Like the whole "rainbows and unicorns" above, things aren't going to be perfect. Though things might be pretty great when you're engaged, hardcore struggles will happen when you're married.
Were there any key points I missed that you were mistaken about when you were engaged?